Tuesday, December 13, 2005

It still hasn't sunk in that Grandmother's physical presence is gone forever....I keep remembering how good it felt when she stroked my hair as I snuggled up to her on the couch just a few weeks ago at Thanksgiving....She was so alive then...and now she's gone....I am grateful for her strong spirit now more than ever....That's because I can still feel it so clearly that it comforts me...She is/was such a blessing..

This afternoon we planned the funeral (which is Thursday) and everyone who is speaking rehearsed what we will be saying. I wanted to share the piece I wrote for the memorial service. I know you didn't personally know my Grandmother...But I do hope you will take a bit of her positive energy and help me spread it far and wide.

MY HERO

Amazing Grace. Compassion. Inner Strength. Faith. Determination. Patience. The ultimate balance between high standards, total acceptance and unconditional love. That's my beloved Grandmother. Helen Elizabeth Brandon Corbin. My Darling. My shero.

We shared so much. Hot fresh cinnamon toast fresh out of the oven. Long stimulating phone conversations about God and Faith. Silly laughter. Free flowing tears. Inquisitive minds, buoyant spirits and an incredible zest for life.

Because I live in San Francisco, I didn't make it back to say goodbye one last time. When my friends in California asked me how I was dealing with that fact, the answer came easily. I am happy she is free. I am happy she didn't have to suffer. I am happy she was able to die with the same grace in which she lived. Of course I would have loved to have heard her say how much she loves me one last time, but there was nothing either of us could have said that the other didn't already know deep in our hearts at a cellular level. Our unconditional love for each other is eternal. It will never die. We are complete.

I believe with all of my heart that the greatest gift we can give Grandmother is to allow her spirit to live on in each of us. I am looking at her death as a calling for me to let my own light shine that much brighter, It's up to all of us as her friends and family to look deep within ourselves for the grace, compassion, faith, and goodness she so generously modeled throughout her life, and to make those parts of ourselves even stronger. I pray for our collective ability to let every thought and memory we have of her serve as a reminder that it is our responsibility to keep the positive, loving energy that is my Grandmother alive.

I also pray we will learn to see both ourselves and others through Grandmother's unconditionally loving eyes more often and more easily. That when we notice we are judging others...or beating ourselves up...or letting the drama of life get the best of us... That we will remember to stop, take a deep breath, and ask, "What would Grandmother do?"

I trust completely that she is here with me now, absorbing my words and in typical Grandmother fashion feeling more proud of me than ever. So I'd like to close simply by saying THANK YOU. Thank you Grandmother for showing my heart what unconditional love looks and feels like. Thank you for being the beacon of love and light you will always be. Thank you for being my hero. I love you forever and for always. Blessed be.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE YOU Kim Corbin...Thank God for passing on the torch that this beautiful person held...on to her awe inspiring grandaughter.
Grandmother, shine down on us all from where you are! Your love is legendary.

Anonymous said...

Kim--In honoring your grandmother, you are carrying the torch forward, as the Iroquois so eloquently stated in this statement: "In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations." (From the Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy.) We serve both our ancestors and our future family members by how we live today. Bravo on your clarity at a time of sadness and loss. --Pattie

Anonymous said...

My dearest Kim,
Your powerful presence at Grandmother's services made me know that her spirit lives on through you. She was full of positive energy and her spirit encompassed us all. Grandmother has gone on ahead, and the angels are truly blessed. You are here with us, and we are truly blessed as well. Love, Kath